I always blame everyone for everything.. even when it's clearly I am in the wrong, I somehow manage to think or say "aiya~ maybe this happened, this person did something which caused me to make this mistake" or "aiya this thing is just stupid, that's why i failed." "This person is not saying it right.. that's why it caused me to do this"
and i will complain to my mum about what happened and EVERY single detail of it
but recently... i have been thinking.. what's the point of complaining to her.. it's not even a big deal.. and maybe.. it's my fault anyway.
i rather learn from it, do better the next round and forget it and take it as it didn't happen.
Yes ~ I have decided to live in denial BUT learn from it.
Like today..... it is my fault. hard way to learn a lesson.. but no, the person isn't wrong, no, he is not too strict, no, he is not deliberately making this difficult for me. I am just not well-prepared.. it IS my fault.
People leaving me. you know, deep inside, i am a horrible person. If i were to meet me, i would not be friends with me. So i strongly believe it's my fault.. If i have decided to let our friendship go, obviously my fault.. I am really sorry.. we all have our good and bad, and as a friend i should accept you for who you are, but i didn't.. So i am sorry. But.. I have changed, I will not give you any more excuses. You're not wrong, or yes you're wrong but i have decided not to try to help you change already because I believe that there's someone that will do a better job than I do.
YOU, I did not decide to give up entirely, this friendship. you did, but okay... and NO ~ i do not and will not treat you like dirt and start being bitchy and make you pay me back for anything of mine you spoil. I am not that petty, I will not send a bill to your house. because to me, even though you're not a friend of mine, but you're still human. If you did not spoil my thing intensionally, what reason do i have to make you pay for it. but your thinking and mine is different. if it makes you happy to return my stuff to me immediately before i "make you pay for it" okay.. and I think i should return you your stuff too,
But i am really sorry. i have really appreciated everything you have given me. I am just not a good friend anymore. You've been a great friend.. really. Thank you.
BUT for those friends who leave me because "i Love Shinhwa too much" erm.. go away? seriously. Stupid reason. Like as though i am giving my life for them -,- it's just my hobby. but glad you left me. I don't think you'll ever make me change my hobby, so just go.
Like what Dongwan said,
It’s not easy to change one’s innate nature.
If you don’t like someone’s character,
It’s better to meet someone else instead rather than to try to change that.
Even if it’s someone you love…
If you don’t like someone’s character,
It’s better to meet someone else instead rather than to try to change that.
Even if it’s someone you love…
So anyway, i have decided.. the best thing for me is to.. live in denial, but learn from what happened.
Yes
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